Your merch table is open for ninety minutes a week
Put the shirt on the show page and it sells for the three weeks the show is on sale. Same catalogue, same stock count, collected at the door on the night.
The people who wanted one had already gone home.
The table goes out at doors and comes down at last call. Whoever walks past it, in whatever sizes you happened to bring, with whatever cash they have on them. Everybody else — the ones who bought a ticket three weeks ago and would happily have added a shirt to it — never got asked.
Set the shirt up once. It sells in two places.
The list you sell from at the table is the list on your show page. Correct a count on Friday night and the website has it on Saturday morning — because there is no second catalogue to keep in step.
- Sizes have their own countsA shirt is a number for Medium and a number for Large, not one number for the design. Price a 2XL differently if you need to.
- Take money at the table with your phoneTap to Pay on iPhone and on Android 13+. No reader, and the sale lands on the same night's numbers as the tickets.
- This year's shirt from last year'sDuplicate copies the setup and not the stock — it arrives off sale at zero, because you haven't got any yet.
Not counting is a real choice, not a thing you forgot to do. An uncounted product never says sold out, because nobody told it how many there are — and pretending to know would be worse than admitting we don't.
Nothing gets posted. They pick it up at the show.
No addresses, no couriers, no packing tape on a Sunday. Somebody buys a shirt with their ticket and collects it at the table — which also means they turn up.
A list of what to bring
Everything you owe, grouped by the person waiting for it, with a count at the top. That's your packing list before you leave the house.
Tick it off at the table
The same list is on your phone. Hand the shirt over, tap the line, done. Tap it again if you got the wrong one.
Refunds clean up after themselves
Refund an order nobody collected and it comes off the list. Nothing lingers there for months quietly going stale.
Two people want it. Only one of them can see the pile.
Someone at your table is holding the last Large. Someone else is typing their card number in at home. The person standing in front of you wins, every time — the online order fails at payment and nothing is charged.
- At the table, the count never blocks a saleStaff can see what's there. If the number has drifted, the number is wrong — not the customer holding the shirt.
- Online, it's checked at the moment of paymentNot when the page loaded. If the last one went while they were typing, they get told, and their card is never touched.
This is a count of what's in the box and a way to sell it twice over. If you need a warehouse behind it, you need a shop — keep the one you've got and use this for the room.
You keep the price on the tag.
The customer pays the same service fee they already recognise from buying a ticket here, on the same schedule — and only once across the whole basket, however many things are in it. Your twenty-five pound shirt is twenty-five pounds to you, and it settles into your own account alongside the night's tickets.
The shirts are already in the box. Sell them for three weeks instead of ninety minutes.
Merch is included with ComedyPass. No monthly fee, and nothing to switch on.